shrektober:

i have arrived

(via averagefairy)

jonathangriff:

muggle-at-the-barricade:

Seeing a Broadway show: This is the greatest day of my life! 

When the show ends: I’ll never be happy again

you mean

Seeing a Broadway show: I did not live until today

When the show ends: How can I live when we are parted?

(via shywolfghost)

dat-soldier:

puniper:

why must we play gods


ayyy bro so ‘bout that cake

dat-soldier:

puniper:

why must we play gods

ayyy bro so ‘bout that cake

(via kevrudd)

joanne-and-deans-bacon:

I’M SAVING THESE TO FUCK WITH PEOPLE’S BRAINS

(Source: best-of-memes, via liza-not-eliza)

asmartkid:


where do the lies end

asmartkid:

where do the lies end

(via liza-not-eliza)

(Source: , via ruinedchildhood)

mapletheleonberger:

…what have I done?

(via averagefairy)

erwinnsmith:

i respect all ships

no no, except that one, that’s gross and you need jesus.

(Source: bartlets, via liza-not-eliza)

vfilthy:

officialcrow:

2cc48a:

I hate this

im

Piss everywhere

vfilthy:

officialcrow:

2cc48a:

I hate this

im

Piss everywhere

(Source: thefakeoriginal, via liza-not-eliza)

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH

OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE

THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION

"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat

(via fidefortitude)